


history repeats our whole damn lives

by billbert



Series: the rise and fall of the vorfreudes [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Bloodplay, Dom/sub Undertones, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, First Time, Lingerie, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Stockholm Syndrome, We break Kyle in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 18:09:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15757020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billbert/pseuds/billbert
Summary: if there had been a way to stop it, kyle would have done it a decade ago.





	history repeats our whole damn lives

**Author's Note:**

> (bottom cartman if u care)
> 
> i really go into kyle's mind break in this one, so if ur triggered by stuff like that, stay away from this.  
> it's all consensual but there are moments where they both question it, so tw for that too!
> 
> enjoy!

**IF YOU WANTED IT TO STOP, YOU WOULD'VE ENDED IT ALREADY.**

 

 

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump._

Waiting for it was like Chinese water torture. Dangling, dangling, never quite keeping a steady rhythm. Just when Kyle thought he might be able to grow used to the noise, to bop his head to it, it stopped - just briefly enough for the whole thing to be thrown off. It was getting in his head, making things all _f u z z y._

"Hey, buddy-" Kyle yelled out, done with the formalities. "Knock it off or I'm gonna come over there and make you regret it." He shouted, just loud enough for Cartman, who was in the room across the hall from him, to hear.

 _"Is that a threat or a promise?"_ came the patronizing reply. God, that voice - there was not a word in the English language that could paint a full picture of just how much Kyle _hated_ that stupid voice. Even in adulthood, it still sounded cloying and babyish, just as it always had.

It gave Kyle wrinkles to know that he'd never experienced a Cartman-free life. He wondered what that would be like - to finally have his mind empty of noise and outside influence. As always, he thought about killing him. The materials needed for both the act and cover-up, the time of day most suitable for the crime, possible alibis, etcetera.

He'd thought it over millions of times before, but always decided against it, if not simply because Cartman's ghost would be a _hell_ of a lot worse than standard, non-supernatural Cartman. And really, in a way...didn't they...kind of _have_ to co-exist?

You heard about rivals like them often - rivals that pushed each other to their intellectual and creative limits. Kyle had Cartman to thank for his unstoppable drive. Constantly trying to outmaneuver and get rid of that tub of lard had made him far more cunning and clever than any human should ever have to be.

Jerked out of his subtly narcissistic reverie, Kyle was greeted with another _thump thump._

Cartman was smacking something down on his desk. It sounded wet, and it had gone too far. That _thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump -_

Kyle stood up, limbs covered in familiar fire. That was how Cartman had always made him feel - hot, tense, and not at _all_ lucid. Blood-red tunnel vision, _blurriness,_ heart rate increasing to numbers that would likely kill a grandma -

He entered Cartman's room to find that the object being smacked onto the table was none other than a giant hunk of meat. It was red and raw and _bloody,_ and Kyle couldn't help but feel tingles of excitement run down his spine. He had a vision - he was going to squeeze Cartman to death.

If Cartman insisted on smacking Kyle's heart around, he'd get his vital organs fucking _rearranged._

The little prince turned his chubby face to look up at Kyle. His beautiful brown eyes glittered with anticipation, thick lashes fluttering as though he were _asking for it._ Kyle was going to _hurt_ him. That was the one thing he'd _always_ had over Cartman. Height, strength, _power._ Eric was this tiny little bouncy ball, and Kyle was a _man._

 _"Am I bothering you?"_ Cartman asked, running his plump little hands over the bloody flesh on his desk. It was disgusting, but Kyle couldn't help himself - there was something satisfying about the way Eric's porcelain palms were growing stained and sticky.

Kyle didn't have to dignify the question with a response, seeing as the answer was obvious. He merely heaved a sigh, a deep one, one that refreshed his whole system. The crimson lens placed over his vision began to fade. For a moment, he experienced total clarity - he should walk. This situation wasn't worth his time _nor_ his energy.

But his body had other plans - he was gravitating closer and closer to Eric, who had stopped touching the meat and was now facing him. All his attention was on Kyle, as always. Damn - it was a _little_ gratifying to have someone _this_ focused on him.

He

liked

it.

All his therapists agreed - Kyle was _not_ to blame for anything. It was all Cartman, and Kyle should be focused on getting the _fuck_ out of South Park and into a city with good people, good universities, good psychiatrists. But...deep deep

_deep deep deep deep deep down..._

There was a part of him that enjoyed Cartman's company. There was a part of him that enjoyed the constant chase, the constant head games, the inexplicable tension -

No. No, that wasn't true. That was _exactly_ what Cartman wanted.

Stockholm Syndrome. Kyle couldn't give in to it.

 _"Hey, Kyle-"_ Eric spoke sweetly, standing up and tilting his head back to look Kyle in the eyes. Despite having nearly a foot on him, Kyle still marveled at the way Cartman's presence was legitimately _intimidating._ There was something wrong. There was some trick. What was _in_ that meat? _Why_ did Cartman have it?

Kyle's palms were getting s w e a t y and Cartman could tell. He felt pale, he felt weak, and he was suddenly not in control of the situation at all. Shit. Shit.

**Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.**

Calm d o w n.

_The meat was so red. So bloody. Cartman's hands were dripping. Kyle...wanted to hold them. He reached out and grabbed them. They were just as sticky as he'd thought. They were so dirty. Kyle was so dirty. He would never be able to be clean again. If he did what his body told him to do, he'd never be able to be clean again._

Cartman watched him expectantly, keeping his emotions beneath his skin with ease. But Kyle knew, there was no hiding it. The way his pupils blew wide, the way his lips curled up at the sides, as though he was holding back the laugh that would end the world.

_He shouldn't, but he was going to. Kyle was going to ruin himself if he didn't run. He was filthy, his skin clammy underneath all the grime. He squeezed Cartman's hands, hard enough to make anyone else flinch and pull away. But Cartman stood still. He stared into Kyle's soul, daring him to do what was inevitable._

Kyle let go of the hands. His own were now stained, forever red. He closed the door, locked it for good measure. Nobody else was home.

Cartman raised his brows, unable to hide his glee. He remained silent, as though worried about losing his chance.

_The meat was still resting on the desk, glistening in the late afternoon sun. It was fresh enough to not smell just yet, but Kyle could tell that its time was running out. He sucked in a breath and walked right past Cartman. He sat down on the edge of the bed, guiltily savoring the way he could smell Eric on the sheets. He'd never be able to scrub that scent off his skin._

_"Start talking."_ Cartman demanded. Kyle had assumed that Eric knew what was going on, but it seemed as though he was a page or two behind.

"I can't talk to you from all the way over there." Kyle replied, voice sounding so far removed from himself that it sent shivers down his spine.

Eric took the hint. He moved slowly, body almost comical as it wobbled over towards the bed. He ran his hand over the meat one last time, palm growing damp with blood again. Kyle felt cared for, felt content for reasons beyond his comprehension.

_Eric stopped directly in front of Kyle. It was a hot day. He was wearing an old T-shirt and shorts that were probably a little too short for someone of his girth. But Kyle liked the way they looked, liked the way they dug into his thighs like the mesh net of a ham. His stomach gurgled, not loud enough to be embarrassing, but definitely audibly._

Kyle felt as though he'd just woken up to idea of _grabbing_ Eric. There was something oddly...compelling about the thought. Compelling to the point where his hands were shaking, _ordering_ him to do it. He struggled with the impulse - there was no way he could just _do that._

_His hands were still sticky from holding Cartman's. There was the instantly-recognizable smell of iron in the air as Kyle reached forward, taking hold of Eric's hips and yanking him forward. It was an action he'd never be able to backtrack from. It was as if the whole damn room had a heartbeat, a subtle drum that accompanied Kyle's failure._

_"Wh-what are you doing?"_ Cartman asked, voice surprising Kyle. He sounded genuinely caught off-guard, genuninely shocked. He had fallen forward onto Kyle's lap, though he was only straddling his knees as of now. It wasn't close enough. It was too late for them to resolve this separately.

Kyle's body was no longer fearful, much to his dismay - he was such a _weak_ person. But he was so, _so_ hungry. The meat was beginning to grow more pungent, the smell infiltrating the room and reminding Kyle of how empty he felt. He was sweating - cold sweat that beaded on his forehead as if to remind him he should've gotten out of there a long time ago.

_He grabbed Cartman's ass, forcing him forward, all the way onto his lap. Kyle was a little stunned at just how good that felt. Eric was far too silent, and Kyle couldn't even make eye contact. He was ashamed of himself, but he knew that soon his hunger would drown out those feelings and he'd lose all sense of right and wrong._

Eric looked down at him, a huge smile breaking out on his face. His fat cheeks were dusted pink, and he was visibly flustered. His expression hinted that this was all too much for him, and Kyle was actually taken aback at how amazing the sensation of being in control was. Eric's eyes were glassy with adoration, the intensity of which was shocking in of itself.

 _"This..."_ Cartman managed, bringing his bloody hands up to rest on Kyle's (once-clean, now tarnished forever) shoulders. The way his voice cracked sent hunger pangs down, all the way past his stomach, all the way past his intestines, all the way below his belt.

Shit...Eric was _actually_ putty in his hands.

For the first time, he had _leverage._

And he was _dying_ to use it. He was _s t  a   r_ _v     i      n       g       .       .       ._

"Shut up or I'll never touch you again." Kyle barked, the volume of his own voice making him flinch. He knew what he had to do, but it was still hard. He wanted it so badly, but there was still a rational part of him, a part of him that was screaming not to act on the hunger pangs, not to fall into what was obviously a trap.  
  
_He squeezed the soft flesh beneath his hands, marveling at how sexy Eric felt. It was a word Kyle had forever forced himself to avoid using when describing Cartman - and honestly, it had hardly ever crossed his mind until that moment. But now that he'd touched him, that word would be stuck to Cartman permanently._

_Kyle would look at him tomorrow and think "sexy" instead of "the bane of my existence"_

_and that thought almost ruined him._

_"Mmm...more, please, please, please-"_ Eric begged, rolling his hips against Kyle's eager hands. It was absolutely depraved how desperate he was. He rested his little head on Kyle's shoulder, breathing heavily. Oh, god...this was what he wanted. _This._ A horny ball of lard that sat atop his lap, waiting to be devoured.

This wasn't him. This was horrible. This was the _worst!_

Kyle stopped with his feverish groping for a moment. He could still bolt and bail and _move,_ but he knew he wouldn't, because he was _painfully_ hard, and jacking off wouldn't cut it this time. Afterwards, he could always kill Eric and then himself. Not like that wasn't in the cards for his lifetime anyways.

_Kyle kissed him, and he kissed him hard. It had been months...maybe a year since he'd last kissed someone properly. Most people simply never got close enough to him for liplocking to be a viable course of action. He was worried he may have forgotten how to do it, but the second Eric's tongue was in his mouth, instinct took over._

_God...how long had he wanted to do this? To shut Cartman up, to finally get an upper hand? He let his hands slip beneath that stupid T-shirt, feeling just how soft and weak Eric really was. He was so clingy, chubby hands balled up in the formerly white fabric of Kyle's button-down._

When Kyle finally pulled away, Cartman made the most pathetic noise Kyle had ever heard come out of him. His eyes were black with desire, almost all pupil - it was sort of scary, the amount of obsession Kyle could see in them. This was the nail in the coffin - they were joined for life. No use prolonging the inevitable.

 _"We can do more."_ Cartman offered, though his tone made it sound more like a plea. _"You can do whatever you want to me. I mean it."_ He murmured, dead serious. Kyle knew that he could kill him right now and have Eric's blessing. But violence wasn't what would satiate the hunger that had been growing since he'd locked that door.

"I want you to tell me what you _want_ me to do." Kyle said simply, proud of the fact that he hadn't let arousal affect his composure. He was still 100% in charge, and that fact made him all kinds of happy.

_you really think you're in charge? this is eric cartman we're talking about here. you're not in charge, you fucking idiot. you're playing right into his hands._

The thoughts startled Kyle, but he was quickly snapped back into reality by Cartman's voice.

 _"You really want me to say it?"_ He chuckled, leaning forward until his lips were almost touching Kyle's ear. _"I want you to fuck me. Harder than you've ever fucked anyone."_ The whisper sent a chill down Kyle's spine. The cold sweat was back, and it quickly cast a sense of queasiness over his body.

 _That won't be hard,_ Kyle thought to himself. Both because he _knew_ he wouldn't be able to hold back, and...well, it wasn't as though he'd ever gone this far with anyone before. He was so closed off - nobody had ever managed to break down that wall of his. Until now - until Eric fucking Cartman wore him down enough for _this_ to happen.

He took a deep breath.

"Well, you'll be my first." He admitted, knowing that it was probably best to have all his cards on the table already. It was sort of like giving up - but he'd gone this far, so he figured that he might as well give in to his hunger. It wasn't as though things could get any worse.

Eric's pretty eyes widened, little pink lips curling up into an absolutely _devilish_ grin. Kyle knew in that instant that he'd made a grave mistake.

 _"Really..."_ He cooed, leaning in to plant a string of tiny kisses down Kyle's neck. _"Then I have you all to myself. I get to see a side of you nobody's ever seen before. I'm so happy-"_ He was breathing heavily, cheeks flushed - Kyle thought to himself that he'd never seen Eric look this _insane_ before. _"You're all mine."_

_It was a split-second decision - Kyle could either let it get to him, or he could put Eric's words out of his mind and do what his body was screaming for him to do. It was an easy choice. He shoved Cartman off of his lap, onto the floor._

_"What are you doing?"_ Cartman yelped, eyes dark with anger. He gritted his teeth, body trembling. Standing up on fat, wobbly legs, Eric reached over to the desk, digging his nails into the hunk of meat that, against all odds, Kyle had almost forgotten about. He clawed out a chunk of it and threw it at Kyle.

It slapped some sense into him. It fell from his cheek, leaving behind a sticky, red residue. Kyle looked down. The blob of raw flesh was nestled up against his erection. He was a feral, disgusting excuse for a human. Tears welled up in his eyes, but before he allowed them to fall, he grabbed the meat and hurled it towards Eric.

"Fucking strip." Kyle demanded, voice trembling with an emotion he couldn't articulate if he tried.

Eric looked at him, eyes still wild and body still shaky.

"You heard me."

Steadily, Cartman's grin returned - this time with a vengeance. Kyle could see the whites of his eyes, all around the iris. He would've been scared, but he knew that Eric wanted this more than _anything._

Slowly, Kyle watched those pudgy little hands trail down to the hem of that now-useless shirt. It was obvious by the way Cartman hesitated that he was anticipating insults - but he continued, languidly tugging it over his head and tossing it aside. It wasn't as though Kyle had never seen him shirtless before, so he knew what to expect.

Or, at least he _thought_ he did.

Eric was avoiding eye contact, already working on sliding his shorts off. Kyle's eyes were fixated on his chest, some of which was covered by a pink, lacy bralette. Since when had Cartman -

What -

He decided it was best not to ask, especially since _asking_ might make Eric remove it. And Kyle didn't want that - though he was loath to admit it, Cartman looked _good_ in it. More than good. Kyle couldn't remember ever having thought someone was this _sexy_ before. He wondered if -

_Yep._

Cartman had gotten his shorts all the way down to his ankles, and he kicked them aside, face still turned away, fixated on the wall. Pink fabric was stretched around his hips, the edges of which dug into his thighs. Kyle could barely make out his erection - he knew he _should_ laugh or point it out, but this wasn't a normal situation. He bit his tongue.

 _"Kyle, can I-"_ He began, voice shaky. Before finishing his sentence, Eric stepped forward and dropped to his knees. _"Please, let me-"_ He was practically panting, reaching out to fumble with Kyle's belt. _"Please, please-"_

Kyle's poor heart - it was banging its tiny fists against his ribcage, begging for Cartman to continue. He couldn't deny its wishes - he kept quiet, swallowing all his _'stops'_ and _'nos'_. "Yeah...keep going." He murmured, just loud enough for Eric to hear. With a trembling, blood-encrusted hand, he pet Cartman's head affectionately.

For a second, it felt like they were real lovers. Not enemies, not rivals, not roommates, but _real fucking lovers_. Kyle was startled at how natural it felt for his jeans to be pulled down, how natural it felt for Eric to tug at the waistband of his boxers. And it made him absolutely sick to his stomach.

_As soon as his erection hit the cold air of the room, Kyle felt utterly helpless. Whatever sense of control he'd had over the situation was gone. Eric's warm hand leisurely wrapped around the base of his cock, taking his sweet time._

It was scary watching Eric move his head closer and closer. His eyes were _crazy_ \- what on earth had Kyle _done_? This was _not_ going to end well, this was going to end bloodily. Cartman had him _right_ where he wanted him, and this was going to cut short whatever future Kyle had planned for himself, this was-

_Oh._

_Shit._

_Eric had wrapped his plump lips around the tip, and was steadily sliding his head down, taking more and more and more. Kyle's heart was twisting and twisting and twisting. He was dizzy - he hadn't known someone else could ever make him feel this good. He thought back to past experiences -_

_The only person who had ever gotten this far with him before was Stan, and that was...completely different from this. Stan had been tentative, practically forcing himself. That had been an experiment, something devoid of any real desire._

Meanwhile, _this_ \- this was the polar opposite. Eric was the embodiment of desire, his entire body radiating heat like a stove as he began to bob his head. Kyle could feel how hard he had to work at it, and it only served to rile him up even more. His free hand was balled up in the bedsheets, his teeth digging into his lip.

_Kyle ran his hand through Cartman's silky brown hair, fighting to keep in a particularly stubborn moan. He felt Eric's tongue run over the underside of his length, and he absolutely **broke,** mouth falling open to allow a string of disgusting sounds to fall out. He could hear Cartman suck in a breath through his nose, obviously happy._

With a 'pop' noise that Kyle swore the whole neighborhood heard, Cartman pulled away, looking up at him. God...his face was everything Kyle had ever wanted. No- no, that wasn't-

~~he fucking loved him so much he wanted to scream.~~

_"Did you like that?"_ Cartman asked, though judging by his smirk, he already knew the answer. It was clear that he wasn't going to continue. He sat back on his haunches, fiddling with his desk drawers, searching for something. Kyle wasn't surprised when he produced a small bottle of lube - he knew exactly what Cartman did in here when he thought nobody was home.

_There had been tons of nights - so many that Kyle was sure it was purposeful - where he'd heard noises behind Eric's door. It was with a mix of disgust and curiosity that Kyle would press his ear against the wood, listening to Eric fuck himself silly. Sometimes he would even moan Kyle's name._

He was getting distracted - he needed to focus on the here and the now, lest there was actually any danger here. _"Do you wanna do it-"_ Eric asked tentatively. _"Or should I?"_

"Get on the bed." Kyle stated, voice stony despite his inner insecurities screaming, desperate to escape his lips. Cartman obeyed, stubby little arms pulling himself off the floor and onto the bed. He laid down on his back, grabbing Kyle by the wrists and tugging him forward.

He pressed Eric's shoulders into the mattress, staring down at him. It wasn't the first time he'd seen Cartman from this angle, and it wouldn't be the last. Kyle always won their fights, and as they grew, he'd grown closer and closer to choking him every time. Those furrowed brows, those eager eyes - it was familiar in a way that made Kyle almost nostalgic.

 _"Kiss me."_ Eric sighed, the words a suggestion rather than a demand. He certainly drove a hard bargain - his pink little smile was begging to be smothered. _"I've wanted this for a long time..."_ The words would've been sweet coming from anyone else, but there was an obsessive undertone that set Kyle on edge.

_Kyle kissed him anyways. It felt satisfying in a way very few kisses that Kyle had experienced had before - like it was something that, secretly, he'd really needed to do. It was like sitting down after a long day or eating after having gone hungry the night before. And Cartman, for some fuck all reason, was an uncannily good kisser._

_"Stop-"_ Eric whispered, pulling back. _"Kyle...tell me I'm pretty."_

It was a surprisingly cute and vulnerable request. Kyle felt his face soften - why was he feeling _butterflies_ of all things? Cartman had always sent hornets down his spine, not made _butterflies_ flutter around his stomach. The room was finally starting to smell like meat, and his heart was growing weak.

"You're...more than pretty." Kyle heard himself say. He was on the ceiling. Gravity had given out, and he'd fallen upwards - given no choice but to watch himself butter Cartman up. "You're beautiful. I really mean it...I think you're gorgeous." It was his voice, but the words were not his own.

He watched his hands trail down Cartman's thighs, ghosting over the crotch of his panties. He wanted to stop himself, but he couldn't get down there in time. The Kyle on the bed was grabbing the waistband of Cartman's underwear, slowly pulling it off.

_Kyle watched the fabric travel over the thighs, over the knees, over the calves, and onto the floor. He could see through the Kyle on the bed. He could see Eric's legs spread, he could see the other Kyle fumbling with the bottle of lube. He had to get down there, to gain some control over the situation, but it was hopeless._

_"Kyle. Kyle-"_ Cartman exhaled, voice quietly worried. He sounded on edge. _"Kyle, are you okay?"_

 _I'm the one who should be asking him that,_ Kyle thought to himself as he watched Cartman grow increasingly frenzied - perhaps the situation didn't feel the way he'd expected it to feel. Was he getting cold feet? Ceiling Kyle could put a stop to nothing, so he settled for laying flat and watching it all pan out.

"I'm fine." Other Kyle smiled. "Are _you_ okay? I'm about to put the first finger in." Ceiling Kyle cringed at the words, cringed at the way Other Kyle's finger glistened with lube. The finger was circling a part of Eric that Kyle had not been prepared to see. Not now, not ever. It seemed too...private, too intimate.

It was as if the final barrier between them had finally broken down - they were practically one, so might as well seal the deal. Ceiling Kyle began to grow jealous of Other Kyle - if anyone was gonna do this, it had to be _him._

He flung himelf down, back into his body. It was weird, and he felt a surge of energy course through him. Without thinking, he shoved two fingers in, overwhelmed with the need to _hurry._

 _We need this,_ he thought to himself. _we need to do this-_

Eric let out a yelp of pain - he'd never seemed so _human_ before, and Kyle liked it. Seeing him like this...Kyle realized that Cartman wasn't the unstoppable force that he'd been scared of all these years. He was taken back to the first time he'd made Cartman cry - like, _really_ cry.

In the rare times that Eric allowed his facade to crack, an ugly part of Kyle reared its head. He felt possessive - something dark inside of him _screamed_

**B R E A K   H I M**

 

Kyle's vision was blurry. He shut his eyes for a moment, ears full of Eric's moans. They sounded a thousand miles away, but they turned him on nonetheless. He stretched out three fingers, overwhelmed by how easily Cartman was opening up to him. He didn't seem to care about seeming in control, twitching and sighing and rolling his hips down onto Kyle's hand.

_It made it feel so easy to yank his hand out and force himself in. No warning, no forethought, no hesitation. He dug his nails into the generous amount of flesh around Eric's hips, thrusting forward with as much strength as his body could muster - which, it turns out, was enough strength to make Eric Cartman scream like a girl._

_"Kyle- Kyle- slow down-"_ He begged, but Kyle only heard _harder_. He pulled out and thrust back in, even harder this time. It felt _so good_ , Kyle knew that he'd never feel this good again for as long as he lived. This was his peak - he should enjoy himself before it all comes crashing down around him.

Eric seemed to realize that it was futile to beg, and so he focused on blinking away his tears and lowering his voice. Kyle found his act of surrender so impossibly cute that he couldn't help himself - he leaned down and bit into Eric's shoulder, drawing blood. Eric whimpered, wrapping his fat little arms around Kyle as he completely submitted.

Kyle couldn't get enough of that _taste_ \- he bit him again, this time closer to his neck. Any beads of blood that formed were licked away. He rolled that taste around in his mouth - the stuff that flowed through Cartman and kept him alive and kicking. It was sweet and brassy, and he needed _moreeeeeee._

Their next kiss tasted of blood, and Kyle could feel Eric's sweet little smile curling up. It seems he was finally getting used to it. Kyle took that as a go ahead to just completely lose it - he sped up, growing a little anxious of the fact that this wasn't going to last forever - this immense sense of pleasure would be followed by tragedy, he was sure of it.

_But he really didn't care, not when Cartman was looking at him like that, not when he was making the cutest sounds Kyle had ever heard. He grabbed his thighs, pushing his legs back for a better angle of attack. Cartman gasped at the new feeling - Kyle had obviously hit a good spot._

_"F-fuck--"_ Cartman whined, arms still holding onto the back of Kyle's shirt. _"I love you-"_

It wasn't a secret. Kyle knew that - but to have it be said out loud in such an honest way was a little startling. He slowed for a moment, briefly removed from that awful haze of aggression that had fallen over him. Should he say it back? Did he love Cartman?

If you had asked him an hour ago, the answer would've been a disgusted _no_ , but now...well, this situation was forcing him to confront things he'd hid from himself for far too long. Was this what Stockholm Syndrome really felt like? Was Cartman the sole toxic one in this relationship? Had Kyle just gone completely crazy?

In some ways, maybe Kyle _did_ love him. But he felt like -

_f u c k_

_f  u  c  k_

Cartman clamped down around him, wrapping his knees around Kyle's back. That felt _good_ \- he'd never been this close to _anybody_ before, and it was filling a need he didn't even know that he had. He loved this, he loved this _he **loved** this_

"I love you too, _god-_ I love you-" Kyle groaned, moving his hands up, up to Eric's shoulders, around his pretty little neck -

he  **s q u e e z e d.**

_He could smell the meat clearly now. He tightened his grip, hips still snapping forward with a mind of their own. With a broken cry, Eric came across his own stomach, tightening up to the point where Kyle too felt suffocated. All thoughts melted away. All that was left were two bodies and a puddle of blood on the desk._

_his nails dug into sensitive flesh, palms sweating as he felt that desperate pulse beneath them. he closed his eyes and came inside._

_he_

_was_

_dead_

**_he_ **

**_was_ **

**_dead_ **

Kyle's vision went white and his ears were full of a terrible ringing. His arms went limp and he collapsed beside Cartman's warm body, unable to see or think. He focused on the ringing, the only thing he was sure of.

 

_eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee_

 

There was a loud gasp.

"Kyle-" came the weak voice. Immediately, he jumped up, eyes widening at the sight of a visibly-exhausted Cartman, who was smiling brightly despite everything. There was something sinking in Kyle's stomach - Cartman was indestructible. He was worn out, but here he was, already eager for more.

More challenges, more head games, more paranoia. Kyle gulped - it felt like something drastic had changed, but he couldn't put his finger on what. Cartman snuggled up to his chest, nuzzling his soft hair into the crook of Kyle's neck.

He had no choice but to hold him, hold him and let those tears from before finally roll down his cheeks.

"Kyle, you told me you loved me." Eric giggled. Kyle's muscles were stiff with anxiety, eyes unable to focus on anything but the hunk of meat that had beckoned him in this room in the first place. It was such a silly, useless thing, something that would probably be tossed in the garbage later.

Nobody would want to eat the steak that Kyle and Cartman fucked in front of. It was a cursed item, it'd give the house food poisoning.

It was so stupid and fucking useless that Kyle thought it was about time he pushed it aside.

"I'm never gonna let you go." Eric said, dead serious. "After this...you know what you did, right? You made yourself mine forever."

The words should've broken Kyle, but there was nothing left to break.

His heart was absent.

**Author's Note:**

> if u enjoyed please tell me. i tried a lot of new stuff with this one!


End file.
